I didn’t believe that we’d really be bringing home Baby P. Despite having watched the heart trace for the whole of labour to check his heart was beating… Even with those last few pushes when the midwives could see his little head. And Mr P was even summoned down there (!!) by the midwives to confirm it was true! I wasn’t convinced this was actually happening after such a long time waiting. That is, until the moment he was plonked screaming onto my chest having just arrived into the world.
We actually had a baby.
We were going home as a family.
As a result of our baby “journey” (long, with losses, emotional, I will write about it soon), advance preparation to bring home baby wasn’t the easiest thing in the world for me. Nesting wasn’t something I embraced, it was all I could do to not worry about what could still go wrong in this pregnancy. I got monumentally bored after I finished work, rather than nesting!
Googling ‘what do I actually need’ is fruitless. Apparently one needs everything including a new kitchen sink. At about 33 weeks we had to bite the bullet and buy some essentials, alongside collecting generous hand me downs from my friends, to get us started.
We had to decide what we had to have.
So here’s my advice for others that want to prepare enough, but dread the worst happening. Put simply, it’s what I wish someone in my shoes had posted for me to rely on! This was what we did and learnt. It may be wrong or incomplete, but it worked for us!
Don’t worry, I haven’t wasted time on this when I could have been with baby. I wrote lists in my planning, I added words one handed as he fed. Slow going one handed, so an achievement in itself!
For baby in the hospital
Nappies – if you sign up to all the clubs and apps (like Bounty, Emma’s Diary, Baby Centre and Pampers…) then you will have ample nappies for at least a few days after birth! Take 15 into hospital with you, it was more than enough for us. After the initial skin to skin when baby will just be wrapped in a hospital towel, it’s time to get used to putting them on, changing him and generally taking care of him! My parents brought us a big pack (96!) en route to meeting baby in the hospital so that we didn’t have any emergencies back home!!
Wipes – same as above, so many free packs came through our door that we had plenty for at least 2 weeks after birth! You’ll be recommended at NCT to use water and cotton wool which I support, however for when you are in the hospital, in a sauna-like ward with little space… Just use the wipes and get to grips with how the nappy changing malarkey works.
A bottle for milk – just one, and just in case. Don’t think it means you won’t be able to breast feed, but you may need it. And if you want to breast feed too then bottle choice is important. We got a Dr Brown’s as they are recommended as being the best for keeping baby on the breast too. And so far so good. In our case I was able to feed right away, but as a low birth weight baby he needed top ups from the start. Hospital will provide formula for you, but consider which one you want to use too.
Starter clothes – we took 3 baby grows and 3 sleeveless/legless bodysuits. We didn’t need all of this for our 18 hour stay but it meant we were prepared for clothing changes with nappy disasters. Of which there were none. Babies do wear more clothes than us so being able to layer (over and above the hospital blankets) was useful.
A teddy – every baby needs a teddy. Whilst they aren’t allowed in the cot with baby, they are perfect for photos. If you sign up with Bounty then they’ll do a little photo shoot which you need a cute little teddy for. It’s also something to size Baby P against in the years to come!
Going home clothes – I decided that he would need something smart to come home in. A cute little cardigan and a blue two piece. Cute as a button, although the ‘newborn’ size was a tad large on our little man. Given the heatwave he actually left hospital in a lot less! You’ll also need a blanket as well as a hat. We used the blanket and bonnet that I came home from hospital in 37 years ago!
Car seat – you won’t be leaving the hospital unless the discharging midwife is happy with the car seat and that baby is securely fastened. We had a session at John Lewis to ensure we knew how to fit and use our seat, I can’t recommend their nursery appointments enough for unbiased advice. This is an area where money is no object – buy the best, it’s about the safety of your little bundle. Ours is a Maxi Cosi iSize pebble plus with 2-way Isofix base. Mr P fitted the seat into the car the morning he came back to collect us from hospital. You’ll also want a mirror for the back head rest so you can see baby from the front of the car.
For you in the hospital
Do write a birth plan. I did, when with a week to go I was deemed low risk! But don’t expect to stick to it. The midwife will go through it with you and do their best to honour your wishes, but they are the experts, labour rarely pans out like the textbook and they will progress labour as needed. Baby P’s birth was far from straightforward (induced, failed epidural, episiotomy, spinal block and an hour in theatre to deal with the placenta…) so I returned to being a ‘high risk’ delivery on arrival, but certain things that we had asked for were still accommodated. I had a chuckle in theatre with the consultant dealing with the placenta and my stitches about her decision to make me low risk for those final few days…
A pillow from home – nice and comfy and with a soft (non-white) cover on it. Hospital stuff is never as nice as home comforts (plasticy and sticky) and something familiar to lay your tired head on will be more appreciated than you might imagine.
Single use maternity pants and plenty of Tena pads – the joy of being able to, well, make a mess in your pants and just take them off and throw in the bin does make life simple. Buy a few packs and change often. Also swing by your Gran’s house and pick up some Tena pads, nice and comfortable and absorbent and they won’t irritate any stitches. Good padding too!
Comfortable shoes and clothes for labour – if you are able to have an active labour, rather than being on a drip attached to a bed, then you’ll want to be able to pace around, walk the hallways and bounce on a ball. Hospital gowns also tend to expose one’s derriere so leggings and vests to retain some modesty will keep you comfy and active. Bear in mind all dignity will later be lost… It’s just that you won’t remember!
Snacks – you need all the snacks. I didn’t actually eat any of mine as I was on an oxytocin drip so wasn’t allowed to eat, however Mr P devoured the lot. Apparently I picked well – it was a cornucopia I was looking forward to… Especially these vegan chocolate truffle bars… The husbands to some extent get forgotten and by the amount of snacks Mr P ate, keeping awake and well fed for 12 hours took a lot of snacks. Nuts, fruit, cereal bars, chocolate… The toast and honey I had after birth was heaven after 12 hours fasting! I still enjoy it today for breakfast more than previously!
Camera, phone and chargers – I didn’t think I would be one of those Mummy’s that takes a picture each time the baby breathes another breath, but I am. And before I was able to, Mr P was busy snapping. We also had a paramedic in training involved with our birth and he was a pro with the camera as well. The camera definitely needed charging. And when we told a few people about 12 hours after the birth that Baby P had arrived, well, the phone was in constant use and needed charging too!
A fan – my final month carrying Baby P was in a heatwave and thankfully our little NCT group found a USB and phone charging clip on mini-fan that is amazing. I had it clipped to my bed at one point (the beds also had USB charging points) and it was a great addition to the hospital ones which are few and far between on the post-natal wards. I also had one of those cold face sprays from Boots, although I didn’t even think to use it in hospital! Baby brain!
Pyjamas, vests and nursing bras – I just got some cheap stuff from Asos to get me through the first few days. Nicer stuff can come later on. You want to be comfortable and cool and have easy access for feeding. I had a few breast pad samples that we’d been given which was plenty. It is also hot in hospital so if you stay in you will likely want a regular change of bed-clothes. Also, you’re unlikely to be that clean either, even if you’re ‘lucky’ enough to get a bed bath, so you’ll want to change!! Take a change of clothes and washkit for your birthing partner too. I know Mr P appreciated a clean shirt and teeth clean to freshen up.
Earplugs… If you don’t get annoyed eaves dropping on the other conversations around you on the ward that is! I found the experience fascinating, and didn’t plug my ears. But another night there and I would have blocked the ongoing diatribe!! I was amazed how little attention others gave to their babies when I couldn’t take my eyes off Baby P!
Nice clothes to go home in – I don’t mean like K-Middy, but something comfortable and loose that makes you feel human and pretty again. It was bliss having a shower the morning I was being discharged (take your own towels, wash kit and smellies) and putting on a new floaty dress that was forgiving on the final remnants of the bump as well as being practical for feeding.
For all of that stuff above I had my trusty rolling hand luggage, a Longchamp pliage bag for the clean baby stuff and my handbag… Looking around the ward, I was a light packer! Although it was clear the second time mums had brought even less: wise owls!
Ready for baby at home
Baby needs somewhere to sleep straight away and we were gifted a Moses basket and bedding from a friend. It’s mobile with a little stand meaning he can snooze next to us in the lounge and come bed time it’s easy to move him undisturbed into our bedroom. We have about 4 changes of bedding which has been plenty so far. Our basket has two mattresses which makes for slick overnight changes! Cellular blankets are also essential and great for safe sleeping, tuck them in firmly.
Changing mat, cotton wool strips, wipes, flannels and towels – your prime job besides being a milked cow is to change nappies and clean baby… Babies tend to eat, sleep and poo/wee. Much time will be spent changing their nappies. We actually have two changing mats, one upstairs and one downstairs. Cotton wool and a squirty bottle of water is excellent for cleaning them, as are water wipes. We also have a bundle of flannels to top and tail baby as well as towels.
Clothes – the little bundle is going to get through clothes fairly quickly. Sleepsuits at night and little outfits for the daytime. It’s fair to say that on some days and nights more than one of each will be needed… In amongst a few new bits that I had bought, and hand me downs from friends, we had about 6 of each that we could rotate through. Having a baby in the middle of a heatwave meant they wear a little less on the clothing side, and what was washed was dry on the washing line in mere minutes! I sort of wish I had listened to the consultants about the expected small size of the baby – newborn clothes only just fit him now after 4 weeks of feeding!
Bottles – you may well need a top up bottle feed, or choose to bottle feed. If you aren’t sure then in addition to the hospital bottle get a few more. The worst result is you won’t need them, the better result is the baby isn’t hungry if you do. For sterilising, microwave steriliser bags are a genius thing to have to hand and means you don’t need a space-taking sterilising ‘systems’. We are now trying Milton tablets which seem to be even easier!
Muslins – at least one a day even if the baby isn’t a sicky one. Muslins are some of the most useful things you can buy! Not just for baby, I used one to wipe my eyes and blow my nose when Baby P had to have a proper blood test!
Once you are home
For everything else Amazon Prime and next day delivery has been my crutch… And their Baby Wishlist… And John Lewis next day delivery too! And my parents regular visits!
Everything below came after we got home, even though we did research earlier. I felt better that way and baby didn’t miss out in any way.
Prime has been great to cover the essentials like nappies, wipes and cotton wool, to the nice bits like Milestone Baby cards and cute little books!
The evening that I stayed in hospital for observation I was busy checking what might be needed by the time we got home. I ordered some nice things for Mr P that first evening. The Daddy gets a little forgotten in the process so I wanted some thoughtful gifts for him to come home to. Other things you will need if you are able to breast feed are breast pads and tops and dresses that you can easily feed in. H&M has done me proud so far.
Choose your pram in advance even if you don’t buy it. We were happily seduced by an amazing Bugaboo Buffalo offer in the John Lewis clearance sale (now replaced by the Fox) which saved us hundreds of pounds, so we purchased in advance of birth even though I hadn’t planned to. This did mean that at 2 days old we had the means to take Baby P to the village fete and being mobile immediately was a really valuable part of my quick recover. He was the star of the show too. Our bassinet is one that he can sleep in overnight – great for trips away and also he sleeps in this downstairs or in the garden which saves lugging the Moses basket around.
We now have an Ergobaby carrier which gives even more options now he is finally bigger than 3kg which means he’s big enough for the carrier with an insert! It’s opened up walks through the fields for us.
Cheeky wipes – if you want to do your bit for the environment then cheeky wipes are a great set up for cleaning dirty bottoms! Also soft on skin. And they work! We also have a squirty bottle for water that we use with cotton wool. We’ve actually set up a changing station upstairs and downstairs as we were given two changing mats. Saves a load of faff in the early days running up and down the stairs to change nappies! Water wipes we also now have to hand as well, Baby P like Water Wipes just to cool him off during a change too. I think they are the best environmentally too. We started off with nappy bags (that Southern Water gave us at a country fair) but we quickly picked up a proper nappy bin to avoid traipsing to and from the outside bin 8 times a day!
Non-bio washing powder – we already use non-bio but the volume of washes will go up. We also put a Dettol laundry cleanser into the wash now as well so we can run a shorter wash at a low temperature.
Cot and chest of drawers – the chest of drawers now houses the pile of little outfits, diligently arranged in size order and bedding and such like. Atop is a changing mat. The cot won’t be needed for some time but a nursery isn’t complete without a cot and it’s a great place to store the growing family of teddy bears! We have also hung some cute shelves and are looking for a corner bookcase.
Changing bag and mat – I love the Pacopod rucksack I found. It hooks on to the pushchair but is also good for walking which we will do more of in time given our country location. It also comes with mini bags which are all we have needed to use so far on or adventures.
Gro-Egg room thermometer – especially during a heatwave it is really hard to second guess how many layers a baby needs. This night light and thermometer helped us gauge how to dress Baby P and how much bedding was needed. Come to think of it, one of our best purchases was a nightlight for the hallway so that the midnight dash for a bottle doesn’t need any bright lights! This one is fab!
Baby thermometer – again, with a heatwave we found it hard to know if Baby P was ok with the heat. Of course he was, the womb is warm! But the thermometer gave us peace of mind.
A play mat – so I am not sure he appreciates the animals and intricacies of it just yet, but the playmat is somewhere with interesting colours to play together when he is awake and not needing feeding or changing!
A baby bath – or washing up bowl. Basically something baby size for bathing. We were recommended to start regulars baths from day 5/6 onwards. But he’s not yet keen on the water so topping and tailing him is easier!
Nipple shields – just because. I have a set of nipple shields just in case I need them! And nipple cream. Best to be prepared as baby isn’t going to be less hungry anytime soon!
Champagne and non-alcoholic beer and the food you missed. Make sure to put a bit of fun into being new parents! We had a glass of fizz with my parents a few days after we came home. It was one of the best glasses of fizz I have ever had, and I only managed half a glass! Also, newsflash, something in beer (even the non alcoholic stuff) helps milk production! Then there’s the food I’d missed for 9 months: soft cheese, pate, smoked salmon… These on crackers has been my lunchtime staple!! One handed food whilst I hold the baby who inevitably feeds at meal times!
Things we apparently had to have that we still haven’t used or bought
Stuff to do in hospital – I needed none of it, there was no time to be bored, or to order in take away. If there were a quiet few minutes (you don’t get much of a break between contractions that are rapidly induced with an oxytocin drip…) then I slept (aided by fentanyl). The full series one of Brothers and Sisters that I downloaded onto my iPad and the trashy books on my Kindle still await my attention!
Baby monitor – this is still something we need to choose, but since one of us is always in the same room at this early stage it hasn’t been needed.
Expressing machine – I have been given a couple by friends that I will investigate in due course if I need to. They are big investments and I think isn’t pressure you necessarily need from day 1. I might never use mine but I am definitely not putting pressure on myself to use it for the time being. I am just lucky to have a couple of options if I need them.
Scratch mittens – we haven’t needed these. So many of the baby grows come with inbuilt ones that if we did need something then we would be sorted with what we’ve already got. A nail file is more important.
Baby sleeping bag – we have been given a couple and they are adorable, but to use from three months. We were also given a baby swaddle that at two weeks we have started trialling for day time sleeping. But Baby P likes to flail around with his legs and keep his toes cool and no blanket will restrain them!
Bottle warmer – Baby P is topped up with formula and we have 3 bottles and the microwave sterilising bags. That’s all we have and it’s plenty for now, in constant rotation. His formula is at room temperature which seems to suit him and is pre-made because at this stage it’s one less thing to think about in the middle of the night. So no need for a bottle warmer at this stage.
Feeding chair – with Baby P so small I am still happy feeding on one of our sofas or in bed. But as he grows I am going to find a nice upright chair for one of the spare rooms that will make a good nighttime feeding base for me. We have been given a bumbo for when he can hold his head up which is a perfect start.
Thankful
We were lucky that our friends passed on so much to set us up which meant I didn’t need to stress myself out and buy much in advance. But even so, we still kept it simple and, importantly, I stayed in control of what was in the house and what stayed in boxes in the garage until we came home.
Our one big purchase I haven’t actually mentioned… One can’t deny babies are an investment… My very practical convertible car with three doors wasn’t going to be the most suitable thing with Baby. Even though it has isofix and even though we could get the Bugaboo into the boot. Two weeks after Baby P’s arrival our (his) new 4*4 turned up on the drive. Let’s say Mr P took the go big or go home approach!! I mentioned this to a friend last week… His response: ‘Anna we had to buy a new house’… So I guess a car and some house redecorations is small price to pay!!
A new family set of wheels! Ready for adventure!
I hope that this is useful to at least one mummy to be like me, I know it would have helped me!
I have used affiliate links above but only on things we either bought or were given and that we think are worthwhile.
SaveSave
This is all so exciting, I bet you loved all the shopping 🙂 choosing clothes was my favourite bit and even 2nd time round I still bought too many newborn clothes!
You’ll use the monitor soon enough; once they start napping/ sleeping their own cots, which for us started at about 5-6 months.
Do you have a nappy bin? I found those very useful and we still have 2 for the youngest who is still in nappies.
Author
🙂 This is definitely the exciting phase! I forgot to mention the nappy bin – duly added, it’s been an essential! Can’t wait to go winter clothes shopping for him, he has a bit of a haul from presents for the next couple of months first!! What monitor did you have… Looking for recommendations!
Brilliant – thank you for writing this post – it fits me exactly!
Author
My pleasure, I hope it helps. I just added nappy bin which I forgot. Congratulations to you both, I hope the next however many months/weeks goes smoothly!
Congratulations! Such a beautiful baby!
Author
Thank you! We can’t stop staring at him!
I was just the opposite, I wanted to have everything I could possibly have when I was just 6mnth pregnant:) I’ve waited for him for a long time too but didn’t have any losses so it was all together a different experience from yours. hope you’re enjoying your little one! but be prepared for ups and downs too, I wasn’t hormonal when I was pregnant but now, with breastfeeding and I guess the body getting back to normal , I am quite hormonal most of the time:) it’s like being in PMS but without the actual…
Tanja/The Red Phone Box travels recently posted…Wordless Wednesday: Ely
Author
So far the hormones are in control but when Mr P goes back to work in a week I am sure it will be tougher! I have enjoyed nesting a bit more now that we are all home, I think holding off on the prep worked in our situation, but I can imagine how nice it must be to do it all in advance too!
This is such a sweet, helpful and lovely post Mrs P! Many congratulations again to you all!
Emma @ Adventures of a London Kiwi recently posted…What to wear as a woman travelling in Dubai, Abu Dhabi and Doha
Author
Thank you xx I wanted to write it because it is a minefield if you are scared of the what ifs and still want to do right by bump 😍
It’s a fact that a baby’s immune system is not yet fully developed, and babies are more susceptible to infection and illness than an older child or adult. Cleanliness is therefore very important when preparing their bottles. However, there are a few different ways of cleaning the bottles out there. Based on your experience, which one do you think is best?
Chenden recently posted…How Many Baby Bottles Do I Need? [Ultimate Guide for Busy Moms]
Author
We did cold water sterilising with Milton tablets for the most part, and used microwave steriliser bags from time to time